On Consistency
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” - Aristotle
I can’t believe I am quoting Aristotle in my newsletter, but, alas, if the shoe fits, why not? The Substack team told us this week that “growth is tied to output.” In order to grow our audience and improve our newsletter over time, it is recommended we publish often. I’ve been balancing my new job and new work schedule with the weekly publication of Truth & Dare, and the truth is that it is now Friday afternoon, I and I am just beginning to draft this thing. But my dare for the week is to stay true to my commitment to publish often, preferably weekly (which is also what Substack suggests).
My thoughts on consistency go beyond keeping up with this newsletter. Consistency allows us to build, create, and become. We often hear that building a habit is the key to success. If we want to achieve a goal, desire and motivation can take us so far; we can try saying affirmations or implementing some productivity hacks, but being consistent is the glue that binds it all together.
If we go to the gym every day, we’ll start to see results in our strength and stamina; eventually we’ll even notice physical changes in our body. If we start therapy and stick with it, we’ll see results. Eventually, we’ll even notice we’re healing. If we want to learn how to play an instrument, or write a book, or learn to cook, or meditate, or anything, the more we do the actual task, the better we will become at it. Not only will we see our skills improving, but the task at hand will become second-nature; it will be much more enjoyable because we do it more often. The pain of the unfamiliar, the uncomfortable feeling of not knowing how to do something, will ease with time and repetition.
The book “Atomic Habits” by James Clear (which I haven’t read), introduces “the 2-minute rule” for building easy, but steady habits that lead to achieving greater goals. Here’s an excerpt from the book: “You can usually figure out the gateway habits that will lead to your desired outcome by mapping out your goals on a scale from ‘very easy’ to ‘very hard.’ For instance, running a marathon is very hard. Running a 5K is hard. Walking ten thousand steps is moderately difficult. Walking ten minutes is easy. And putting on your running shoes is very easy. Your goal might be to run a marathon, but your gateway habit is to put on your running shoes. That’s how you follow the Two-Minute Rule.”
The point of this idea is to make doing something so easy that we really have no obstacle or excuse to avoid doing it. When I took piano lessons during the pandemic, my piano teacher suggested I practiced at least five minutes a day. He believed that if I scheduled only five minutes with myself and the piano, five could turn into ten, and the first day could turn into a second, and third, and so on. I set my alarm to go off daily at noon. I think he was right, but I admit I was not at all consistent with my piano practice. I can’t remember the last time I played.
I have been consistent and seen the rewards in other areas of my life, however. I once did a 30-day yoga challenge (which I completed in about 45 days) and by the end of the program, I noticed drastic changes in my flexibility, strength, and overall flow technique.
I am following Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way program and, once again, I have not been very consistent about staying on track with the weekly tasks and schedules, but I have built the habit of writing my morning pages every day. I am not supposed to read back on those pages yet, so I can’t comment on the nonsense that some of those pages may contain, but I can assure you that writing every day has become a form of meditation for me. A way to dump all thoughts and words onto the pages and clear my mind. A poem or two may have come from that exercise. A writer will eventually emerge. Maybe she already has.
In his book, “Outliers” (which I did read), Malcolm Gladwell talked about the key to becoming an expert at something is by achieving 10,000 hours of practice in that something. The point I get from both Clear and Gladwell is to do something repeatedly, if only for a tiny fraction of our day (to start), so we can eventually learn, do and become, anything, if we stick to it. (By the way, the drinking word for this paragraph is something — are you drunk yet?)
I don’t want to sound preachy but my invitation to anyone who has been wanting to do something, create something, or become something (there it is… drink up!), is to start little by little. You will see progress if you continue being consistent and persistent. Develop the discipline and create a routine that works for you, in a style that works for you (not for others), because you’re the only one that’s going to be accountable for the progress and the results. You’re the only one whom you can disappoint and just because it’s only you, doesn’t mean that you should think it’s OK to do so. Treat yourself as the boss you’re really motivated to work for, or the person that you really want to impress by showing up, doing your best work and being your best self.
I hope to look back at this newsletter one day and be able to say I’ve kept it up and can see the fruits of my labor. I have built a community of readers (mostly by harassing people to come read my Substack); I have improved as a writer; I have written all the poems I need to publish my first poetry book. I want to look back and think about what I’ve learned about myself in the process. What were the things that I enjoyed and dreaded? What has resonated with people about my writing? What has impacted them in some way, whether inspired them, or hit a certain nerve, or even question themselves. I want to look back and see how cathartic and brave it was for me to write a specific essay. I want to notice how I’ve grown as a writer and learned more about myself in the process.
I should also remind you (and me) that we can either build something or destroy it with our repeated actions. We can destroy relationships by repeatedly ignoring them. We can keep canceling plans or push a conversation or a date for a later time because we think we’ll have all the time in the world with someone, but this is not always the case. How we see ourselves (and how others see us) is also shaped by the way we treat and speak to ourselves over time. We spend our formative years building a character and identity with the words we speak to ourselves and the recurring thoughts we have, which will determine who we become. Even as adults, a consistent negative script will become ingrained in our minds and have awful consequences for our emotional well-being. If we build a habit of speaking badly about ourselves, we may end up believing what we say and show that to the world.
We are what we do. We are what we think. We are what we speak, repeatedly. Let’s choose excellence and growth.