I took a month off Social Media - here's what happened
Some do dry January; I did 31 days on the (IG) wagon.
I survived my first-ever Social Media break. The reasons for my detox are several, but I finally made the decision to abstain from all platforms for a full month to see if I, actually, had the willpower and discipline to stick with it. I wanted to focus on a very specific personal challenge at the start of the year, so I figured I needed more time and attention to succeed in that endeavor. The crazy challenge I had committed to myself is called 75 Hard, and I was invested in making it happen, even if I had to sacrifice a few things to accomplish my goal. Truth: I stopped the challenge on day seven (maybe I’ll elaborate on that in another post). However, I did stick with a dry month from alcohol and Social Media.
Call it a resolution, a goal, or a come-to-Jesus moment, I knew I had to jump on the wagon because I was noticing a few things in myself: I was spending a lot of idle time scrolling. I’d pick up my phone first thing in the morning to check if I had any notifications. I’d spent about an hour or so every night, watching everyone else’s life through stories. If my boyfriend got up from the couch while we were watching TV, I’d immediately reach for my phone and began mindlessly scrolling until he got back and we could get back to our show. If I got disinterested in meetings, I’d place my phone strategically off frame on my computer screen and watched reels, tuning out whatever “nonsense” was being discussed. I’d spent my free time scrolling, double tapping, and following someone else’s life very closely. I’d “do it for the ‘gram” and focus on posting a moment or checking for likes, without fully immersing in said moment.
I could blame it on the fact that I’m part of the first generation that grew up with Social Media. Since I was about 16 years old, I’ve been “connected” on some type of social platform. I joined MySpace when it became popular, then FaceBook when it came out, and tried several other platforms along the way, eventually landing on my vice of choice: Instagram. It became such a big part of my life, my routine and my brand, that it was subconscious how attached and dependent I had become. But the thing is, even as Social Media was morphing from a space of connection and self-expression into a type of depressant-hallucinogenic drug and virtual public square where millions of people on soap-boxes asserted themselves and their truths, I thought of myself as above all that. I was too smart and mature to succumb to the worse of Social Media. Surely, when the experts spoke of the risks and dangers of Social Media and their victims, they were not referring to me. I got concerned for those at risk, without the slightest realization, that I too, was just as vulnerable.
It’s embarrassing to admit that I had fallen into the traps those experts had been warning us about for some time. Addiction Websites and media outlets, like The New York Times, have written about this new form of addiction. There are even documentaries on the subject — and I’ve watched them all. But while the concern has been focused on the youth and its future effect on society, for us Millennials, who finished adolescence and entered adulthood already belonging to this virtual social phenomenon, our psyche has been transforming in tandem with Social Media and our need to take part in it has increased exponentially and (maybe not so) “organically.”
I had noticed some of the signs, but was I addicted? Social Media addiction is defined as a behavioral addiction driven by an uncontrollable urge to log on to or use social media, and devote so much time and effort to it that it impairs other important areas of life. I’ve already mentioned my inappropriate use of Instagram during work meetings, but the truth is that I was devoting so much of my free time to this platform, even when I didn’t enjoy it as much.
When Instagram’s feed was chronological, I would scroll through all the way to where I had left off last, and would get irritated when I was interrupted by someone or when the app had a glitch and took me back to the top. When Stories came out, I felt the important need to keep up with everyone’s updates, even the trivial ones. And when the pandemic was in full bloom, and I was relegated to my four walls, Instagram opened a window; where I could escape to other places or where I could show everyone I was still doing things and having fun.
I compared my life to others’ on the app, and would sometimes get disillusioned or frustrated with my own; but even when that happened, I could not get enough. According to AddictionCenter.com, “the phenomena of social media addiction can be largely attributed to the dopamine-inducing social environments that social networking sites provide.” This dopamine hit is similar to the one some people get from gambling and triggers the same kind of chemical reaction in our brains as cocaine. This all sounds scary and looks like an obvious and huge red flag that we should all avoid, but have you ever found yourself watching Instagram reels or TikTok videos, and laughing hysterically and uncontrollably until tears ran down your cheeks, only to realize that an hour went by in the blink of an eye? Me too.
Despite the warning tape and the red flags, Social Media is fun, inspirational, allows for connection and, to a lesser degree these days, self expression. So the truth about my potential self-diagnosed addiction would be in the pudding. Could I dare to spend an entire month —the longest of the year it turns out — without this addictive candy and make it out alive? Would I get withdrawal symptoms? Would I be able to keep up with the news and the trends, or would I end up completely isolated and disconnected from the world as soon as I deleted the app from my phone? I was anxious to find out. Here’s what happened:
An entire month off
I cut off all Social Media apps; even the ones I don’t like using, but do anyway on occasion when someone sends me something, or an article links out to it. Think X, LinkedIn, and Threads. I did so because I wanted to focus on the here and now, without any distractions. I also wanted to dedicate my time to things that brought me joy before Social Media was part of my life, like drawing, writing, reading. I still do those things; ok, maybe not so much drawing, but I thought being completely cut off would allow me to spend more time doing them. Turns out I was able to be off social for the entire month, and it was easier than I thought! I read five books (I usually read about a book and a half each month). I went on long walks outside sans phone. I made one drawing, went on bike rides, watched movies and went to sleep earlier. Can I call this a success?
Withdrawal Symptoms
AddictionCenter.com defines withdrawal symptoms in this form of addiction as “experiencing unpleasant physical and emotional symptoms when social media use is restricted or stopped.” I did not experience anything extreme, but my conditioned reaction to reach for my phone in the morning, or in small breaks throughout the day, was only slightly diminished. The average number of times I picked up my phone fluctuated throughout the month, increasing some weeks, decreasing in others.
I found myself instinctively needing to scroll, so I opted for Pinterest. The app is designed to inspire all areas of life, from motivational quotes, to style, to recipes, to makeup tricks, to exercise routines. Pinterest is the aesthetic and visual search engine. I don’t use Pinterest to interact with anyone; I only Pin stuff to my boards for inspiration, so I thought of it as harmless. By mid-month I realized Pinterest had become my Nicorette gum; so I was technically in the right direction, but clearly taking baby steps.
For a person that is trying to quit drinking and gets bad news, reaching for the bottle seems like the most natural reaction to disconnect and numb out feelings. I received very scary news while on my break and my mind did go straight to Instagram for two reasons: I clearly had to vent on my own soap-box about the news I had received. I needed compassion and comforting and reassuring from others, even if I didn’t share the full story. The other reason was that Instagram would allow me to disconnect. I could spend hours laughing at funny videos or worrying about someone else’s problem, instead of facing my own. But, alas, I persevered. I resisted the urge and did not succumb to numbing myself. Instead, I booked an appointment with my therapist, made time for family, and wrote it out of my system.
But what about the news?
First of all, going to Social Media for your news is a very bad idea. But before the break I thought I may not be able to keep up with the world. Even the lighthearted stuff like Golden Globes and Oscar nominations; or latest style trends, or what’s going on with my favorite influencers. These were things I considered before going cold turkey. To my fortune, I had my boyfriend and Substack to keep me up to speed with all the news. I followed the Ivy League fiasco and the continued war between Israel and Hamas, and other goings on, direct from the experts who’ve been conducting actual investigation and reporting. I skipped the comments section and the self-righteous, although perhaps well-intentioned, but still misinformed, banter between people on Social Media… and was better for it.
Incommunicado
I felt uneasy about stopping all outward communication. Would people miss my posts and, therefore, miss me? Would they know how much of a good time or a bad time I was having if I didn’t show them? Would they stop caring about me if I never showed up on their feed? Another fun fact of Social Media addiction is that the reward center in the brain that we get from using it, happens most when we’re talking about ourselves. It turns out that “in the non-virtual world, it’s estimated that people talk about themselves around 30 to 40% of the time; however, social media is all about showing off one’s life and accomplishments — so people talk about themselves a staggering 80% of the time.” What would the virtual world do without me?!
One of my, perhaps irrational, fears about being off Social Media was losing contact with friends, and people in general. This isn’t a fear that crept up in December before the break started; this is a feeling that’s been creepily lurking for a while now. Since Covid, Americans have been feeling more isolated and lonely; and, even after life went back to “normal,” some of us still relied on apps, like Instagram, to keep the flames of friendships and acquaintances alive. Those people that we met once and barely got to know, but still watch our stories and give it the occasional ‘like’, are people worth keeping up with, right? Those friends who we’ve lost touch with and don’t dare interact with us at all, but still follow us, are worth thinking about, right?
I know, not my proudest thoughts. But the apprehension was about the same; even with those friends who are closer and more real. So the solution was to just see them IRL, right? Well, January was also a bit of a weird month in that, for reasons that are relevant but private, I had to also cut out in-person interactions that were “unnecessary”. To my surprise, those friends reached out to me via alternative channels and we kept in touch! They did not forget me after all.
So, what now?
My experiment is now over, and upon further reflection, I don’t think I am an addict. I genuinely don’t think I’m in denial, either. After all, I did not falter once throughout the 31 days. However, I do recognize the risks of spending too much time on Social, and the changes that occur when I spend a prolonged period of time on the apps. I noticed it on February 1st when I logged back on Instagram. I spent a total of three hours and twenty-one minutes on the app that day. So will I quit it altogether? I don’t think so. Like the occasional social drink or two, I think I can manage a healthy — alright, moderate — dose of this social elixir. I have to continue training my mind to need it less and less by using it less and less.
My plan is to use Instagram more conservatively and actively seek out activities that don’t require a phone whenever I find myself in idle moments. It’s not that simple. I also have a plan to grow my reader community, and by virtue of the algorithm, the nature of the beast, I would have to be more active on social in order to accomplish this goal. C’est la vie, I guess, and I will learn more in the process. However, I do know I want to maintain the careless attitude I had in January, when I wasn’t constantly checking notifications or thinking of cool or clever things to post. I just did things and enjoyed them. I also know I want to make time for drawing. Maybe I’ll get to two drawings in February.
If you, or someone you know, may be experiencing Social Media addiction (I’m not being funny here), know that it can have harmful consequences, including severe mental health issues, like eating disorders and suicide. Consider getting help. All citations in this essay are from AddictionCenter.com.
😚 hope to see you soon(ish)
Great points in this about all the emotions that social media stirs in us all. Commend you for stepping away for a whole month!